Ah, the novelty song. A distinctly American song form, the novelty song has been around since the 1920s and the golden age of Tin Pan Alley. Wikipedia has an excellent short history of the novelty song (it really doesn’t need to be long) and also a huge list of novelty songs and comedic musicians. Flip through it; I’m sure you’ll recognize at least 20 if you have ears and a radio. Remember the song “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window”? Yup, that was a novelty song, and it became so popular there was actually a backlash against it in the early 50s! Maybe that’s why it’s a children’s song now…

Within my lifetime, the novelty songs to hit the charts have either been by “Weird Al” Yankovic or were dance songs. In fact, most songs that have dances that go with them (”The Macarena”) are novelty songs, although some (”The Twist”) have gone on to become just-plain-hits. Prior to “Weird Al”, comedic musicians like Ray Stevens and Dave Seville & the Chipmunks topped the charts. One of my dad’s favorite albums is Ray Stevens’ The Streak, so I know that pretty well! But for my money, the best novelty song ever (and Wikipedia agrees) is “They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” In fact, the only thing better than that song is the B-side to the single — the same song, played backward. (If you don’t believe me, c’mon over to my parents’ basement. They own it. In fact, I think my parents own a lot of novelty songs. Hmm.)

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So what makes a hit novelty song? Cuddle up with your “Ding-A-Ling” (Chuck Berry) and get ready to learn!

1. Humorous lyrics. Or, failing that, nonsense or profane lyrics. Novelty songs generally end up in the “Best Comedy Album” category of the Grammys, so humor is pretty much a given. And the lyrics don’t even have to be real words, or words at all. Multiple Grammy winner P.D.Q. Bach, a classical novelty composer, included coughing, snoring, yelling, and laughing in his vocal parts. I had a really, really fun time singing his stuff in high school choir. Really. (If you don’t know the story of P.D.Q. Bach, seriously, Wiki is your friend!)

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2. Unique instrumentation. Now, this isn’t an absolute necessity, but it has definitely been used to great effect. Kazoo, anyone? Or how about “Weird Al” and his accordion? Okay, there are plenty of polka enthusiasts who’d disagree that the accordion is inherently funny, but I think we can agree that it’s not a usual pop instrument.

2a. Unique vocals. The Chipmunks are an excellent example. Or how about Bobby McFarrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” with his signature… um… whatever those noises are that he makes. Or the Dracula-style vocals on “Monster Mash”. But really, any kind of bizarre vocals or just a “distinctive” voice will suffice.

3. A gimmick. Now, this is pretty broad. It can be anything from unique vocals (like the Chipmunks) to a unique look (”Weird Al’s” hair) to a dance (the Macarena – oh please don’t make me do it at your wedding). It could be a persona, like Cheech and Chong’s burnouts. Wait, that was real. Well, anyway, you get the idea.

Then there are things that are not necessary but definitely help, such as timeliness: “Convoy” started life as a bread commercial jingle, but the CB radio was so popular at the time that it was developed into a full song and ended up doing quite well for the company that owned it; and any parody* has more of a chance of doing well if it’s released while the original song is still on the charts. Also, anything that I listed in my original “Anatomy of a Hit” post can hold true for a novelty song. And then there’s always marketing to children – “Puff the Magic Dragon”, anyone?

* A note regarding parodies, straight novelties and pastiches. My (totally unofficial) take on the difference between the three is such (as illustrated by “Weird Al”, because he’s convenient): A parody takes the music of a popular song and adds funny lyrics, like “Eat It” or “Amish Paradise”; a pastiche is either a unique song using the style of another artist (”Pancreas”, a Brian Wilson circa Smile pastiche) or a cobbling-together of several other songs in a comedic way (any of the polka medlies); a straight novelty song is an entirely unique song that is humorous on its own merits (”Weasel Stomping Day”).

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My personal experience is that there are two “usual” types of hits: the uptempo dance number, and the midtempo ballad (a/k/a makeout song). In this blog, I’m going to examine uptempo songs. Later, we’ll cover ballads, and the third, rogue category, the novelty song (which can occasionally fit into one or the other of the first two categories). Now, on to the hits!

The backbone of a danceable song is the backbeat. (It even has “back” in it!) This usually consists of drums (or some kind of percussion, drum machine, etc.) and some kind of bass line, either from bass guitar, “stand up” double bass, or maybe the left hand of the piano or organ player. This is what you tap your feet or fingers to, it’s what you move and groove and shake your booty to. It’s what made people on American Bandstand say, “It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it, I give it an 8.5″ for many, many years. If you haven’t got a beat, you haven’t got a hit dance song.

If you’re reading a score, the backbeat is on the bottom. Building upward, you find the instruments that play (or create) chords: keyboards, guitars, and string and horn sections. Chords are nice; they move around and create a mood, and then they resolve and finish the song (or section). Without getting into the technical details, I’ll just say that there are ways of doing this that are “usual” and ways that are “unusual”. The usual suspects are simple triads (made of 3 notes) and that’s your basic rock ‘n roll or punk song. When you get a songwriter who really knows what s/he’s doing, and s/he does something unusual, then you get a song that’s not only mass-market enjoyable, but stimulating. People actually like that. However, they don’t like “weird”, so if you’re using this post as a songwriting guide (I hope not!), be careful of weirdness.

Up at the top of our hypothetical score are the lead “instruments”, which can be just about anything that plays a melody: lead guitar, vocals, piano, sax, and if you’re Jethro Tull, flute. Here’s where the “catchiness” factor of a hit song comes into play. Like Blues Traveler said, “The hook brings you back.” So what’s the hook? Hum or sing your favorite song. The part you know best and sing loudest is probably the hook! Oftentimes, the hook is the title of the song or the fun part of the chorus. It gets repeated a lot. And in a hit song, it should be easy for the majority of people to sing. Most people who listen to the radio and enjoy songs are not trained singers, and they don’t have the range of, say, Mariah Carey. (I do, but this isn’t about me.) So take pity on your shower singers and car karaoke stars, and watch the range.

Finally, and this is optional: the lyrics. I say this is optional because there are plenty of songs out there that people sing that do not have lyrics. One of my personal favorites is… um… well, I can’t remember the name of it, because it doesn’t have any words! Oh well. Maybe I’ll remember it for the next installation of this mini-series. Anyway, if I could hum it through the blog, you’d probably know it too. And I hum or la-la-la along with tons of classical music that doesn’t have words. So lyrics are optional. And if you do have lyrics, frankly, they don’t have to make sense. In fact, it probably helps if they don’t. And if, like “Louie Louie”, the words are slurred? That’s pretty much an instant hit.

I’ll be back in a week or so with Midtempo Ballads, or Seduction In 12/8 time. Your homework assignment is to listen to the popular dance music of your generation with an ear to what I’ve discussed here, and report back as to whether I’m right. Class dismissed!